The Right Time

Written By: Lisa Fantone

Every so often, a potential client asks a question that is extremely difficult to answer with any specificity: “When is the right time to tell my husband/wife that I am thinking about divorce?”  Indeed, many times I ask early in the phone conversation, “Does your spouse know you are calling us, or have you discussed divorce with each other?”

Telling the other party that you are unhappy or considering divorce is probably one of the most stressful things to say out loud.  The “d-word” may have been previously screamed loudly during an outburst of anger, or it may have been mumbled under your breath a million times before, but when you finally say it and mean it, it becomes real.

There really is no “right time.”  Some people call into our office early, either looking for information on different processes or they might be wondering about their rights and responsibilities.  We had a client who called every spring for five years and consulted with one of our attorneys, but he didn’t make the decision to divorce until that fifth consultation.  Other people wait, only to be served divorce papers through the Court. 

Chances are good that your spouse already knows you are considering divorce or maybe a separation.  Maybe there is a lot of arguing in your home or you are sleeping in separate bedrooms.  Maybe there is silence and loneliness.  Maybe you have attended couples’ counseling, but nothing seems to be changing.  Maybe you feel you have given all you can.  It’s still not easy to tell your wife or husband you would like a divorce.

Our firm has begun offering a brief thirty-minute consultation during which the attorney will discuss the different options available for divorce, including mediation, dissolution and Collaborative Process.  The goal is to steer clients away from litigation through the court system and towards a client/attorney-centered approach.  Once you decide to begin a non-litigated process, we can assist with telling your spouse.  This certainly beats being served with intimidating legal documents at home or your workplace.

On average, divorcing couples will spend less time and less money if they can avoid litigation.  The agreements signed are much stronger because both parties have had a hand in crafting them.  The possibility of post-decree troubles is lessened, too, because of the parties’ participation in the process.

If you would like to learn more about divorce options, contact us:  https://www.zblaw.net/contact-us.