5 Tips for Dealing with the Stress of Divorce

By: Mary J. Biacsi, Esq.

#1 ASK FOR SUPPORT

Curtail feelings of overwhelm, depression and despair by asking for support from family members, friends, your church or a therapist.

Make certain that you schedule time with friends and family to help you deal with the stress. Ask for help from them when you have to focus on a stressful task, such as gathering financial documents or discussing children issues with your spouse. Ask for the support before you take on the dreaded task by scheduling a phone call with a supportive friend or family member before and after you completed the task. This way you can "bookend" the task and stay in action and on track with less stress.

If you are having a hard time dealing with your situation, there is nothing wrong with seeking the guidance and support of a therapist or psychologist. To find a professional that specializes marital and children issues, call Zoller|Biacsi, and we will work to provide you with names of therapists. Also, ask a friend or your physician for a referral. It is the strong person who asks for help when they need it.

#2 SCHEDULE "YOU" TIME!

Combat adrenalin overload by scheduling at least 4 hours per week for yourself - take out your Calendar, your Blackberry or your iPhone and schedule appointments with yourself!

Take out your calendar and literally schedule time every week for you! Consider this time sacred - put yourself first. Continual focus on the stress of the situation will eventually wreak havoc on your system. During this time of transition, it is important to work to maintain physical, mental and emotional balance.

Take the time you need to do whatever it is that makes you happy and will relax you. Take a walk in the park; soak in a bubble bath, read a book that takes you away in your mind. If you do not take care of yourself you will be unable to focus. It is important that you have your wits about you as you go through this process - you need all of you when you are making decisions about your life so you are able to begin to paint a picture of your future.

#3 KNOW YOUR OPTIONS

There are options other than litigation that you can chose as you to end your marriage - Collaborative Process.

There are alternative options available to the emotionally and financially draining litigation process. An effective alternative to the litigation process is the Collaborative Process. This process takes into consideration, your concerns, needs and interests. A safe place is created by the attorneys that are committed to this process, laying the ground work for you and your spouse to make educated and thoughtful decisions for yourselves and your children. The dynamics of your family are changing - don't you want to have input in the change versus leaving the decision up to a Judge, who does not know or love your children? The Collaborative Process provides you with the venue to craft and design a settlement that suits you and your family, thereby enabling you to move on and discover your new life. For more information visit: www.zblaw.net , The Cleveland Academy of Collaborative Professionals at: http://collaborativepracticecleveland.com/ and the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals at: https://www.collaborativepractice.com.

#4 RELAX

You may feel anxious before a Court date or a 4-way meeting, so schedule a play date with your children 24 hours before this event to relax and have fun!

The stress that you are feeling as you go through the divorce process affects you and your children. So, make sure you plan a special outing to have fun and relax with your kids! Go get ice cream, see a movie or play putt-putt! Do something you all enjoy - relax and have fun.

For more information to assist your children with this transition visit www.zblaw.net and click on link - books for children or visit Association of Family and Conciliation Courts at www.afccnet.org and click on Shopping Center and On-line bookstore.

#5 TAKE TIME TO TRANSITION

Make certain you have child care arrangements for your children after a Court date or a 4-way meeting, enabling you to take the time you need to integrate, cry or simply stare at a wall!

Children feel the stress we feel, going through the divorce process, even if it is amicable it can be really stressful. It is important to take care of yourself through this process so you can take care of your children. This is a loving act, not a selfish one!